Desperately Seeking Epic Paperback – March 21, 2016

As soon as you start reading, in your gut you know this is going to be a sad one. Death is never good and now add a child to that and the word cancer.I want to say this book is about Neena and what she was able to do in her short life. She has had a pretty good life with her mom Clara, but when the disease comes and it doesn't look good, she begins her search for her dad, Paul. And it doesn't take long to find him. And it's in the moments that she is with him that we discover what happened between Clara and Paul. How Clara became the strong woman she knew as her mom, how Paul was a coward but was ready to accept that and change. And then there is Marcus, a special person in his own way to Clara, Paul, and Neena.12 years is such a short time for a life to live, but so much can happen in that time. And even though Clara and Paul lose their child, she is still the greatest adventure they ever had and don't regret it at all. This is a difficult read but worth it. Sometimes we just have to be put in those situations that are uncomfortable to be able to appreciate what we do have.

This was such a wonderfully heartbreaking tragic story that showed that life doesn't end with a death. Make sure you have plenty of tissues because you will cry but there will be times you will laugh and feel joy as well. It's been 13 years since Paul James and Clara Bateman have seen one another. Paul left one day without a word and he doesn't return until he is forced to by his attorney and not getting money that he expects from his half of the business.Paul and Clara's love created a beautiful little girl named Neena who is dying from Lukemia at the age of 12 years old. Clara's only hope is that Paul is a match for a bone marrow transplant because that is her only chance. Neena just wants to meet her father and get to know him before she dies. So she places an ad on Craigslist called Desperately Seeking Epic because Paul's nickname was Epic. She didn't realize the huge publicity that ad would bring and people all over the world are interested in this story.Clara hasn't had an easy life. Her parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was a baby and she was raised by her Grandmother. She was married to Kurt and she really wanted a baby. For a year they tried so much to have a baby but it put so much strain on their marriage that they stopped. She finds out later that he's been having an affair and that he doesn't love her anymore and he wants a divorce (also the woman that he had the affair with is pregnant). Clara found out soon before this that she inherited half of a skydiving business from the man that killed her parents. She can either take over half of managing it or she can have half the business sold and she receives the money. She decides to take half of the business and to try to build a new life there in Virginia where the place is. Things are very hard at first trying to have this new business without friends and trying to create a new home for herself but also at work the people give her a hard time. Finally, her and Paul become lovers and she's happy. But Paul disappears and doesn't come back and she finds out she's pregnant. Her dream comes true but she has to do it alone. She loved Paul and she tried to contact him but it never worked. She could have tried harder but she didn't want him to feel like she trapped him and made him be there or to be just a part-time father. Her daughter is her whole life and she has to watch her die and nothing she can do about it.Paul's Uncle was the owner of the business and when he died he left half the business to him and he knew to another person but not why. He was an adrenaline junkie and adventurer. He didn't feel like he could stay put or be a family man and he did what he could to make it clear to women. He was a stuntman for awhile but he was in a car accident and he was in a coma after it and if he continued he would have most likely died. But the skydiving business helps some but he still goes all over the world travelling and going on adventures. When Clara comes into his life, he hates her instantly and thinks she's a major pain in the butt. But in time he learns there is so much more to her than what appears and they end up becoming lovers until one day he thinks that he's just a replacement for her ex-husband and he leaves without a word. He comes back to find out that he had a daughter he didn't know about and on top of that she is dying. He finds out that he can truly love something.Neena is a wonderful young woman that has been dealt a horrible hand. She finds out when she's 8 years old that she has Leukemia and she has to fight through so many things to find out that it's not working. She knows she's dying but she just wants her remaining time to be there with the people she loves. She puts a plan in motion to find her father and get to know him before she dies. She wants to know him but she knows her mom needs someone too. She hates that she is going to leave them with all this hurt and she just wants them to go on and be happy. She's an amazing person.Definitely worth reading. It's a beautifully tragic story worth reading.

Desperately Seeking Epic by BN Toler4.5 stars!!!!“You are my most epic adventure, princess.”A synopsis like this is like crack to an emotional reader like me. I crave those tear jerkers, call me weird but they are my favourite reads. Something about connecting to characters on such a deep level just resonates with my reading heart and while I did shed quite a few tears there were a lot more laughs.The way this story was told was absolutely beautiful, a novel way of telling a life story of two people who created one of the cutest, strongest, most lovable little girls I have ever read about. For a twelve-year-old girl Neena had a wise head on her shoulders and while her parent’s relationship never stood the test of time she knew that her Mum still loved her Dad, even thirteen years later. Now extremely sick she wants to bring them back together and so she turns to Craigslist.“Life’s too short to be subtle.”Paul James has not been heard from for thirteen years, he has a daughter he doesn’t know exists and she desperately wants to meet him before she dies. Her Craigslist ad goes viral and news and TV outlets are out pouring their support and airtime. Neena’s mum, Clara, has one last idea to try and lure Paul back and it works…she desperately hopes he is a match. Clara knows it is going to be difficult when she comes face to face with Paul, he broke her heart and despite her misgivings she knows that Neena needs this and just maybe he may hold the key to the slimmest of chances.My heart broke for Paul, it is obvious that in the last thirteen years his attitude has changed and he sees life differently but he is still the adrenaline junkie he has always been. Even though the sky diving business had always been his home he had nomadic feet, he would always just disappear for a month or so at the drop of a hat and go on another one of his epic adventures, but he always came back…until he didn’t. He missed twelve years of Neena’s life, he is upset and angry but most of all he jumps into fatherhood like a duck to water, the relationship he builds with Neena is epic.Through a seventeen-year-old budding journalist Clara and Paul relive their lives and soon old memories lead to second chances and new beginnings, neither have lost that love for one another and it pained me that as usual misunderstandings cause the biggest of chasms for so many people.“I’m sitting in front of the pimple committee, about to recount my past“You seem nervous…”“Do I?””This was more than a book about a sick child, this was a book about second chances, that soul mate love that never leaves and just needs a little spark to reignite. A love that despite thirteen years apart was ever present. I loved the way the author re-told their history, how Clara came to own half a sky diving business and how a love/hate relationship finally kindled and then was painfully extinguished before it had the chance to really ignite.“Look at me. I effed up,” he rasps. “I know it. I’ve always known it. But I did love you, and I’ve never stopped. Hate me for leaving. Hate me for being a dick. But don’t hate me because I didn’t love you.”“He’s getting to me. I’m officially in the vortex of the suck.”With some amazing side characters that will steal your heart, BN Toler brings together a story that despite the undercurrent of doom and gloom will have you laughing out loud and have tears running down your cheeks for a multitude of reasons, I had tears of laughter and tears of sadness. I sped through this book, frantically page turning to find out how Clara and Paul came to be and I didn’t want their journey to end. What initially I thought would be a book that would be destroy me ended up being a book that uplifted me more and while I would have loved a different ending, the ending we were given was the right one. A beautiful story for a beautiful little girl.

I'm kinda at a loss for words for what I should write in my review. I don't think I can adequately write down in words how this book affected me. But I'm going to try my damnedest.DSE will reach into your body, remove your heart and soul, squeeze it tightly while you read and render you emotionally drained and in awe upon completion.I've had this on my kindle for a few months now. There isn't any reason I hadn't dived into it other than a never ending TBR pile. Last night I needed a new read and this one came to mind. I stayed up past midnight and had a hard time putting it down.This book is about the very serious topic of a parent having to watch their child fade before their eyes. To know that no matter what you do the outcome is one you never want for your child. Clara Bateman is going through what no parent ever wants to imagine. Neena is her vibrant, vivacious, daring 12 year old who is having the life drained out of her by an unforgiving disease. Paul James "Epic" is living his life of adventure with no idea that back home he is missing the last days of his daughter's life because he has no idea she even exists. Neena decides to take things into her own hands an places a Craigslist ad"Desperatley Seeking Epic".You’re my father.I don’t know much about you. I know your name is Paul James, you’re a thrill seeker, and once upon a time you did stunts and people called you ‘Epic.’I’ve been told you don’t know about me. That it’s complicated.But for me it’s simple.Here’s the thing: I’m twelve years old…and I’m dying.And as much as this could crush my mother, I have to meet you before I go.In time, I’m sure she’ll understand. She’s still in love with you.So, Epic, if you read this, please come back. You don’t have to be my dad. You don’t even have to tell me you love me or you’re sorry. Just come see me.Patiently waiting, but running out of time,NeenaAs a parent to a 12 year old this hit me pretty hard. Having said that, DSE is at most times a happy, swoonworthy, even laugh out loud book. On the other hand it is sad and heartbreaking. If you are an ugly cry reader then this book will have you sobbing.I can't stress how much you should read this book!! It really is so amazing!!!

It is a beautiful emotional book have tissues ready. It touched me on many levels. It was as the title suggests epic.

This book was amazing. It's definitely a must read. A little girl that's terminally ill brings her parents together to tell their story of how she came to be. Beautiful but seriously heartbreaking when it comes to sick kids. You will definitely need tissues but I promise it's worth the tears.

What a beautiful book, heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I can't imagine what Clara and Paul went through. Neena was Epic, she was so strong and brave. She brought people together. Loved this story even though it broke my heart and built it back up.Highly recommend it.

Beautiful story