The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello (Image Pocket Classics)

I first read this book over 24 years ago. It was my introduction to Anthony De Mello. Finishing it I put it on my top five all time favorite books. It has stayed there. I gave my first hardback copy away. When the pocket edition came out I bought it, I think that copy was given away also. The next copy I bought, I underlined in green as I read. I've kept up with that copy. I haven't read it in full again in some years, but I browse the green occasionally. OK, so what comes to mind today? De Mello understands human behavior, our psychology, our emotions. He uses a short Bible verse for each chapter, and then unfolds the verse and basically uses it as a jumping off place. My copy is around close by, but I can't put my fingers on it right now, but I might edit tomorrow and throw in some favorite quotes. I subsequently read Awareness by De Mello, also most excellent. I have just about all his books, but my third favorite is called Walking On Water. Some years ago I was on retreat in the NC mountains for a week at a couples home, they offered a basement apartment for a very modest price for retreat. In their basement library they had a series of cassette tapes of a retreat that De Mello gave. This is the only retreat he allowed to be recorded. It was several days if not a week. I listened to about 4 tapes, all they had, maybe about a total of 8 hours. Very good. I looked for it later to be able to listen to all the tapes. It is out there but not readily accessible, still have not purchased. ...OK...so why write this review today? I met a very nice lady today, in a Barnes & Noble. She was browsing in ~my~ section. I could share some turnings of the cogwheels in my mind, but I'll pass on that. As she was browsing, I thought of Tony De Mello, and The Way To Love. I looked for it, but they didn't have it, but they had Awareness. So I pulled it off the shelf and went back to ~my section~. ...I showed it to the very nice lady, with a little explanation. We talked briefly. She said she's from Denmark, here visiting her daughter (the USA...NC). I went from feeling most excellent...to sadly exasperated. But we talked a little more, and, I had told her about The Way To Love, but I wrote down the title and De Mello on a piece of a sheet of my pocket journal, and gave to her. We talked a little more...I was trying to figure out the situation, my ~head space~, plus some things she said. I was about to give her my e-mail address, about meaning one second away, and things got sidetracked. She told a friend about the book. She told me I think I will get this. And then it was over and she thanked me, and she shook my hand. ....So this is really all about, maybe she will go to Amazon to check out this book further. ...So I really wish I had given you my e-mail address, I didn't even ask your name. But I write, writing comes easier than speaking. But I actually have an extra copy of The Way To Love. It's still in the Amazon package, unopened. I'm more stardust pilgrim than the name I would have said, if we had exchanged names. So, Denmark, I'm going back to B & N tomorrow, well, today, it's already tomorrow. Wednesday, about 1:00PM...until...as sometimes, what's ~not~ said, is more important than what ~is~ said... But I just missed you, all day, after knowing you only about five minutes...d

This is the best little book "which are actually meditations" it's not a novel. I have read this book-, "The Way To Live", for about 20/21+ years! It is amazing! Takes my breath away, every time. Helped me to understand & comprehend, - certain things in life, in a whole different light. It made me understand LOVE & literally - How to.."actually" Love & The Way of LOVE. IT DEFINITELY HELPS, IF YOU MEDITATE, ALREADY or DO YOGA..or IN A SPIRITUAL PLACE or "want to get & be in a spiritual place" 💯 I CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT AGAIN...❤️ That's a the wonderful thing about Anthony De Mello, & his meditations. You can read them over & over + practice, again & again.💯 Very important, Try to bring your head to your heart & close your eyes & do some controlled breathing❤️ It's very beautiful & enlightening 👍 I'm a huge fan! *Life changing 💯💯 💯❤️👍 *The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz is also an amazing book about Love, + what Love REALLY is & How to (REALLY) & *LITERALLY - LOVE

It was inevitable, the publisher has raised the price of this classic work a whole dollar. I just bought a used copy and it was like new. But in effect, this little pearl is priceless. A distillation of wisdom, Anthony de Mello's The Way To Love is a perennial guide to productive meditation. Based upon key scripture passages, "Uncle Tony" breaks open the Word more efficaciously than any collection of prayers, songs or devotional readings ever written. Always new, every time you read any part this wonderful treasure, each page is crammed with keys to open your way into the Kingdom, not eventually, but right in the here and now! I always keep a copy of The Way To Love within easy reach and for almost two decades, it has been my "go to" anchor as I sailed the tumultuous seas of my own spiritual journey. If I had to pick out only one book from my massive accumulation of theological, spiritual, psychological, inspirational and historical texts, and it was to be the only thing I could take with me for the rest of my life, The Way To Love would be my only choice, hands down! For me, Fr. Anthony de Mello dwells personally between every set of covers. I give copies to people who ask me questions I cannot answer, not because the answers are specifically spelled out within the text, but because the book will open and continue to open dialogue between the reader and God. Analogically, the Way To Love is a transcendental transporter that can and will take you into the presence of Jesus, the Christ, but only in proportion to your exercising your freedom to become a student. If you do, your resourceful teacher, friend and companion on these wonderful trips is Anthony de Mello, himself. Timelessly fresh and always exciting, no matter to what page you happen to open, "Uncle Tony" is constantly there, offering you the keys to the Kingdom of God (or Heaven, they both mean the same thing). The neat part is that you can go there as often as you like, for the remainder your life here in time and space. Besides God's joyful gift of endless Self revelation, by continuously visiting with our amazing Creator, you just might get so wrapped up in your Divine relationship that you begin living a Christ like life. If that happens, you also might hardly notice the final transition from this mortal coil into God's "face to face" presence. Its something to think about. Thanks, Tony.

Anthony De Mello wrote a handy little book that has been one of my favorites for several years. Although I can not do justice to this great mystic, I will share just a little of his brilliance. The book is a collection of meditations that helped me adjust to life as it is, not as I thought is was. De Mello presents thirty one short reflections concerning our common struggles: anxieties, resentments, fears, relationships with enemies, suffering, and praying. The meditations are written in a clear conversational style that is filled with graphic questions for the reader to ponder. For me, I read only one meditation at a time, then spend several minutes considering the questions. Occasionally I need to stop and meditate after a single paragraph. What follows is just a few of De Mello's thoughts. According to Anthony, when I find myself angry or upset about another person, instead of asking "what is wrong with him", I need to ask "what does this irritation tell me about myself." To bring peace I must think about myself, ask what barriers exist in me that prevent peace. The Way of Love discusses a common belief that if all our wants and desires are fulfilled we will be happy. Happiness can not be defined in a way that it applies to everyone. Happiness is very subjective. If an object I fancy breaks and cannot be replaced, I am unhappy. If a person I love is ill, dies, or is very aloof towards me, I am miserable. Happiness can only be attained by releasing myself from my attachments to earthly possessions and people. DeMello suggests that people and situations that cause us pain also give us growth. Pleasant encounters may give us temporary pleasure, but hurtful ones cause us to change and improve. He says we might select a painful situation in our history, remember which emotions we felt, and analyze those feelings to reveal what they tells us about ourselves. Were we really hurt, or were our standards and values challenged? If we had not been programmed by society to be upset in such experiences, would our pain be so great? The Way to Love is worth having. If you get a copy, carry it with you and read it during those times you are idle. You may enjoy having it with you.

Most people don't know of him yet he may have achieved enlightenment in this lifetime. I first found out about Anthony de Mello when a friend lent me a video where he was leading a meeting in New Jersey in the early 80s. Watching him in person you cannot help but be impressed by the clarity of his mind and his understanding of the human heart. He was willing to say things that challenged our core beliefs about what makes one happy but in a gentle and compassionate way not one based on superiority. So it was a delight to find out that he was able to leave something that may help others in their own spiritual quest. The book can be read in an hour or two and at the end of book you are inspired by his sincere attempt to help you to see how most of our suffering is caused by our own misguided thinking. I always feel more liberated after reading his book. Other authors that are useful to me are Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, and Ramana Maharshi.

"I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your taste, follow your inclinations, behave in any way you decide is to your liking." -Anthony de Mello p. 35 I recite this meditation now in all my encounters no matter who it is. This perspective on life and love that Anthony de Mello encourages us to open our eyes to--where you truly see things and people as they are and just appreciate however long they're meant to be in your life--just FREES you from any form of possession, guilt, control, etc. In 31 short, bite-sized chapters, Anthony de Mello takes readers on various paths to discover how to and what it means to truly love in the most pure, raw, unbridled way. "You see people and things not as they are, but as you are." I'm sure these types of easier-said-than-done-ideas are not unfamiliar to most people and that they have been echoed in some way, shape, or form to us in various other self-help/spiritual guide books. However, this is not just another self-help/spiritual guide book. Anthony de Mello presents these ideas in such a concise, honest, and straightforward manner that you can't help but allow yourself to be beaten the life into. No sugar-coating. No coddling. This little pocket book of love is that friend you need who tells you what you need to hear and tells it exactly as it is. De Mello presents his ideas and the reasoning to corroborate them in such a no-nonsense way that it makes it nearly impossible for his messages to not penetrate to some extent. This book is also written in a way where you could easily just open it up to any chapter, and take what you need from it. I breezed through it in a single sitting the first time I sat down with it, but now I understand that its chapters are meant to be nipped at, digested, regurgitated, digested again, and repeat...a million times over. Initially I was rather skeptical to read this book since its genre was listed under "Christian literature" as I thought I wouldn't be able to comprehend or fully appreciate the references to Scripture or theocracy. Admittedly, I also had my own reservations that this book might be too preachy or come off as an attempt to indoctrinate readers. I was wrong. One barely even notices the few biblical references he includes, and they only serve to further echo the beautifully conveyed messages he communicates. In fact, most of the metaphors he uses to illustrate his points are references to nature. For example, he explains how we should be like a rose or a tree in the way we love because, like love, the fragrance of a rose and the shade of a tree simply ARE and exist regardless of whether someone will benefit from them or not. This book came at such a pivotal moment in my life where I've only recently begun to truly understand myself, how I'm wired to think, and why I act the way I do. The process to understanding oneself is a life-long journey though, so I have no doubt that for years to come I'll be cracking the pages of this little book open while I'm waiting in line at a coffee shop, first thing on lazy mornings, before I settle in for bed, or just whenever I need a little refresher. A must-read for anyone who wants to understand love, life, or just humanness in general.

For me, the definition, meaning, approach and phylosophy of life has been through my personal discovery of love. Even in my own limited experiences, I suspected the very definition of love has always been out of my limited intellectual grasp, finding no suitable vocabulary to narrate this time of BEING. The book THE WAY TO LOVE, has been another step towards embracing this way of BEING, loving, and at times I needed to put this book aside to digest - assimilate the very difficult and almost unattainable way of LOVING described by the very articulate, serene Anthony De Mello. In simple terms it is the way to LOVE unselfishly, to love a person even if you are not with the person.....until now, this simple sentence or statement has been only theory in my being, until now, I have almost been afraid to imagine loving when a loved one is happy in another place, separated by death, divorce, the violent unavoidable changes of life that we simply cannot control. It is a far cry from the modern rhetoric of suggested SECRETS which only moves individuals closer to the belief that YOU CAN CONTROL ALL, HAVE POWER OVER OTHERS through a certain mental process. It is an acknowledgement that we can control some parts of life, but there are some areas which is not within our control and when this time comes. When change happens it is bound to be violent to the spirit, mind, emotions and being of self. However, the agreement with life and with our God to accept the change, and to embrace, and than finally to continue to love without abdicating from life, without embarking on angry and bitter roads and certainly without the NEED TO CONTROL when life takes a curve away from our fantastical dream of HAPPINESS. The rewards - a simple place of SERENITY, and PEACE and a life feeling less afraid TO fear the next moment. Happy not an occassion, not a joyful memory but alas A STATE OF BEING. always. Will I achieve this state of being? I don't know - I hope to - but for now, I am blessed to have been privy to a man who in his simplicity strive to unpack what others have complicated for years. It is not a book I will read as a once off. I will keep this on my kindle (on my shelves) and revert back, knowing without a doubt that everytime the words - the thoughts - the love, will teach me new ways to love.

I bought the paperback and returned it. Two years later I bought the Hardcover. That was July 2023. I never read much of it. I’m not sure why. I was getting ready to give it away and thought I’d take a look at it. Now idk if it was bc of where I’m at in life or what but anyway I opened it up to He went away sad and read through Nowhere to Go and this short 3 chapters was just what I needed to hear. It made me look at life and “things” totally differently. So I highly recommend it. And I’m keeping it.